To the waitress who made me need to take a breather...

A scale of fakeness from my night at Brandy’s...

 

Your blond hair... probably fake, although you did seem pretty clueless 

The leather on my leggings... most likely fake

The smile on my face... it's probably pretty obviously that that was definitely fake

The sizable tip you would have received had you not been an ignorant and uncaring human being... totally not fake

My dietary needs... most definitely NOT fake

It took me a while to come up with words to address the way you made me feel.  I didn't even want to share any because at first they were way too mean to say, and that’s just not me.  If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all right?

 

Wrong!

 

 

I'm only speaking a little bit for me.  I have a fabulous tribe of gutsy girl and guy followers, I have kiddos with food allergies, I have a lot of people in my life that share this issue with me... and you better believe my fierce protectiveness over all of them is not at all fake. 

 

I carried my Tito's martini that the super helpful bartender (thank you for being a light in the dark!) mixed me carefully over to our table.  Before my ass hit the chair you judged me.

 

Maybe it was my skinny ass in those fake leather leggings, those super cute shoes I got on clearance, or simply the way I carried myself.  As soon as I opened my mouth you did not take me seriously.  You thought I was one of those girls who fakes food allergies to keep their figure.  Those girls exist, but I’m not one of them.  Do they frustrate me? A little.  You?  I’m sure.  But regardless, you are a waitress, they are the customers, this is your job.  When a person goes into a restaurant they are paying you for a service.  They should get what they want…. Or NEED. 

 

I am as chill as I can possibly be when I go out to eat.  Honestly, you probably have people who can eat like a normal person who are much more difficult than me.  I told you I would eat whatever the chef made me as long as it was carefully made gluten and dairy free, and I meant it.  I don’t complain, I just appreciate being able to eat.  I would eat a plain grilled chicken breast and steamed broccoli and rave about how it’s the most wonderful thing and your restaurant is so good to me.  You are the one who made it harder than it needed to be because you wanted to sell me something expensive.  So you acting like I was a pain in your ass was completely unwarranted.

 

You told me I could have a steak, and I knew you had no clue if that was true or not.  So yes, I had questions.  What’s in the marinade, rub, etc.?  Soy sauce? Worcestershire?  You told me you use Lea & Perrins, but when you went to verify that was not the case.  So yes, I have even more questions.

 

You literally said “Ugh… if I have to keep going back there with these questions he’s going to kill me.”  And for lack of better words…. What the actual fuck?!  If he actually said that then shame on him too, but I don’t know if I believe that.  When I said I wasn’t comfortable eating anything because you and/or the chef weren’t focused on making sure I was safe you didn’t bother to try to fix that. You snipped at me that yes he is focused, he has been doing this for 40 years and he is focused on all THESE tables… a whole ten of them, some of which were vacant.  You probably thought no big deal this girl probably makes a habit of not eating.  Well, in the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman… Big Mistake. Big. Huge!

 

 

I eat, well, and a lot.  I am faithful to the restaurants who are faithful to me.  And I have lots of people in my corner.  They are also fiercely loyal to me.  I talk/write and people listen and trust me.  I bring in big parties of big tippers, regularly.   So, yes, big mistake. big. huge!

 

These are some things that I hope you learn from your mistake…

 

1.   People with special dietary needs deserve a social life too, don’t make them feel otherwise.  You must not have had anything like this touch your circle, but if/when you do you will get it.

2.   Use this as a learning experience, it won’t be the last time someone asks you about allergy friendly options, and I can’t really believe I was your first.

3.   Don’t judge a book by the cover.

4.   No, gluten is not “ummmm, like, sugar.”  You sound like an idiot, educate yourself in your field… Food! 

5.   Jack Daniels is not a bourbon and brands matter… a lot.

6.   Celiac disease is not a life threatening food allergy per se, but you will encounter those too.  I hope to God you treat those people better than you treated me.

7.   Customer service is not that hard, just care a little and be kind.

8.   The golden rule says treat others the way you want to be treated.  I wouldn’t treat my worst enemy the way you treated me.  Never have I ever been so disrespected.

     9.   Reminder, you work for tips.  I’m      wondering where you got the money for the fake hair.

10. And finally, karma is a bitch, just like you were.

 

Ok, so apparently my words were still a little mean, but still not as mean as you were.  I sincerely hope that this was just me, I struck a chord in you for some reason, that you don’t make a habit of treating people like this.  I hope you were just having a bad day.  That you are not that unhappy with yourself that you can’t even find it in you to be nice, not even to the people you are working for, and not even when they are clearly dealing with a not so pleasant condition.  I want to remind you that there are kind people in this world, hopefully someday you can be one of them.

 

And finally, I want to remind my readers that despite people like this woman you can still live well and happy with dietary restrictions.  Don’t ever let anyone make you feel otherwise.  For every bad apple there are whole trees full of good ones!  Find the good ones!  Which is just what I did when I finished that cabernet and strutted my skinny, leather-legging-clad ass right on out the door of Brandy’s that night and headed to Mi Margarita! 

My fave holistic nutritionist's Lentil, Sweet Potato, and Swiss Chard Curry Over Quinoa!

 

Guys!!! How good does that look?! 

I am so beyond excited to have a guest blogger today!  Her name is Ariel, and she is quite literally the shit!! 

Not only is she an awesome yogi, but she has a farm where she grows all kinds of organic produce, she is my favorite holistic nutritionist in all the land, AND in addition to all that she is an awesome friend and fab tea and wine tasting sidekick! Can you tell I love her?!  You will too!

 

When she shared that picture of this recipe I was like my gutsy girls and guys NEED this in their lives... So I'm giving her the stage!! 

 

HI, I'm Ariel Zimmerlein!  I'm a holistic nutritionist and farmer/owner of AZ Farm & Wellness. I use my farm and B.S. in Human Nutrition and Dietetics to support, empower, and educate others to build their health and happiness through whole and local foods, while supporting the wellness of the environment and fostering community.  I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as I did! 

Lentil, Sweet Potato, and Swiss Chard Curry Over Quinoa

By Ariel Zimmerlein

 

Ingredients:

½ tsp. of onion powder

½ tsp. of garlic powder

1 (1-inch) piece fresh ginger, peeled and minced

1 Tbl curry powder

1 ½ tsp. garam masala*

½ tsp. turmeric

4 cups low- sodium vegetable broth

2 medium sized sweet potatoes, cubed

1 ½ cup red lentils

1 cup quinoa

¾ cup plain vegan yogurt

Juice of 1 lime

2 cups of baby swiss chard and/ or spinach mix, chopped

1 tsp of Pink Himalayan Salt

Black pepper to taste

*** Can’t find garam masala? Make it like this:

Garam Masala

-1 Tbl ground cumin

- 1 ½ tsp ground coriander

- 1 ½ tsp ground cardamom

- 1 ½ teaspoon ground black pepper

- 1 tsp ground cinnamon

- ½ tsp ground cloves

- ½ tsp ground nutmeg

Directions:

• Take a medium sized pot and use just enough water to cover the bottom. Place on medium heat.

• Add ginger, onion powder, garlic powder, curry powder, garam masala, and turmeric. Stir to fully combine and cook for about 2 minutes, only adding water as necessary.

• Add broth, sweet potatoes, and lentils. Stir to combine. Cover and bring to a boil, then reduce the heat and cover again, leaving the lid open a crack. Simmer for about 20 minutes.

• Cook quinoa according to package. Adding 1 to 2 cups more water or broth than recommended to make it a softer more rice-like texture.

• When lentils are tender and the liquid has decreased, add yogurt, lime juice, and chard. Cook chard until the chard is just wilted and remove from heat. Serve warm over quinoa.

Let me know how you guys like this!  Hopefully I can convince her to share more of her magic with us here!  In the meantime check out my gorgeous friend, Ariel, at our website   You can see what she has happening, get her contact info, and schedule a consultation with her too!  

Leprechaun Muffins.... shhhhh, it's spinach!

 

Sneaky little leprechauns putting spinach in the muffins!! 😉

Sharing this recipe again because it is perfect for one of my fave holidays... St. Patrick's Day!!

Kid friendly, naturally GREEN, and full of good stuff, with none of the bad!

Leprechaun Muffins aka Green Hulk Muffins

2 C Gluten Free All Purpose Flour (Sarah's Blend)

¾ cup coconut sugar

2 tsp baking powder

½ tsp baking soda

1½ tsp ground cinnamon

½ tsp salt

¼ cup coconut oil

¾ cup coconut milk

1 (6 ounce) bag fresh baby spinach

½ cup mashed banana (from about 1 to 2 bananas)

2 tsp pure vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350°F and prepare your muffin pans with paper liners or oil.  Whisk together dry ingredients in a large bowl: flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt. Set aside.  In a blender, place everything else and blend until completely puréed.  Pour puréed mixture into dry mixture and fold together with a rubber spatula until completely combined.  Fill muffin cups about ⅔ full and bake 18-20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

Enjoy for a fun and healthy St. Patrick's day breakfast or snack!! 

Be tough enough to accept sometimes you aren't tough at all...

 

They say destroy what destroys you...

But what if what destroys you is yourself?

It is then, more than ever, that you have to find the balance between soft and hard.

 

Develop body awareness, but don't just hear what it's telling you...LISTEN! Move when and how you need to move, breathe when you need to breathe, eat what and when you need eat, cry when you need to cry, and by all means... rest when you need to rest. 

Be tough enough to accept that sometimes you aren't tough at all.  

Because fighting with yourself isn't going to get you anywhere except more exhausted, frustrated, and discouraged.  Who needs that? 

Be on your own team, always! 

Breathing and sleeping easy diffuser blend

 

Because... #preschoolteacherlife 🤧😷 😴 

You teach 'em to share, but there's some things you don't want shared.  They do a great job covering their little sneezes and coughs for the most part, but... we all know that doesn't always work.

AND this is how teachers build bad ass immune systems!

BUT it is hard to sleep when you can't breathe! Try this!

#diffuserblend #breathe #chamomile #doterra #justbreathe #immunity #sleep #holistichealth #apennyformyglutenfreethoughts