From the heart of the "skinny bitch" in the pink bikini..

I sure as shit am not all about that bass...

What happened to women just simply encouraging one another?  Don't we get enough pressure from society to be perfect?  Do we really have to throw more fuel on the fire and bully each other?

Now I could be wrong, but I'm pretty for sure that if I sang a song about "fat bitches" that it would be considered incredibly rude, politically incorrect and most importantly hurtful...even if i was "just playing."  I wouldn't even think of doing that... ever (I didn't even like typing it :/)!

It's just wrong to joke about.  And what about those "stick figures"?  I'm sure there are boys that love to hold them at night too!  Don't people realize it is just as wrong to criticize someone for being too skinny as it is for being overweight?  It hurts them just as much.  Let's just not criticize at all!  How about we try that because what we have going on now clearly isn't working.

damn right!

Since when did women decide they always have to be competeing with one another?  Why do we always want something we don't have and someone else does?

This is me... the real me... and I am not always proud of it...in fact sometimes I am scared of mirrors because I can't stand seeing the reflection that is looking back at me... and that is a heartbreaking feeling.

It makes me feel incredibly guilty not only because my body does amazing things and I need to appreciate it, but also becasue I know there are women out there who look at me and want to look like that... and I get to and I don't even appreciate that body all the time..

Maybe that really does make me a "skinny bitch"...or maybe I'm just overwhelmed with the hate that is thrown around..

What you don't realize is what it takes for me to get to look like that... it's actually one of my silver linings.  This brings me to another important point.

Your body is just the vehicle that drives your heart and soul around.  You need to keep it well maintained.  Sometimes your parts malfunction and need maintenance.  It's about being healthy.  You give your vehicle what it needs and none of what it doesn't.  If I run on diesel fuel there is no way I would put gasoline in my tank.... that would be a disaster!

Not a day goes by that I don't watch what I eat...not because I'm watching my figure.  Nope, it's much more important than that.  It's so I can live!  I work hard, play hard, do yoga to manage the stress of life and disease, and I watch everything I eat (because I have to!)... And the silver lining of all that is I get to wear that binkini... somewhat confidently... :/

You may look at me rocking that pink binkini and get that jealousy ... but what you also don't realize is that I look at you and am jealous too... maybe of your hair or skin or the fact that you can eat like a normal person....


I guess my point is that we need to love our own bodies, stop comparing, and stop body shaming everyone.  And stop judging books by the cover, you don't know the story or struggle that's inside simply based on the fake/genuine smile on the outside.  A body is a body, it's your vehicle and you only have the one so you might as well own it and love it!  I know it's easier said than done....

I remember going to a college football game and watching the dancers at halftime.  I remember thinking that I could never do that because I would have so much anxiety about getting out there in front of people in that skimpy little outfit.  There was one girl in particular who was just owning it... seriously shaking what her mama gave her front and center and loving life!  I was in awe and so jealous!  I could never do that.   I couldn't take my eyes off of her!  She had a lot more to shake than I do, and she appeared so secure with herself.  It was beautiful, she was beautiful!  I envied her, I want that feeling.

Unfortunately chasing that feeling in today's society is like trying to find a split window vette in my price range... virtually impossible! But guess what, I'll keep trying to find that split window!!